Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
