I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize