you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
