By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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