I wish i was in the wii world.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
