My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
