Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Randomize
