I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i've created a new STD.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize