Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
