I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
