nut hugger
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i think my cat just said my name.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
