It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
