Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
