you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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