escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
