I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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