he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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