Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
