Don't you send me to vm
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
