If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
high people should be assigned attendants
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
