You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
