How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
