Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
