Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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