If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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