Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
