College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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