I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize