I hate your face
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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