I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize