idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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