i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
