i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
