I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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