Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
