i always forget guys have bellybuttons
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
