I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
