Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
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