if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
