You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
