My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
