she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is wine microwaveable?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
