I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This couple is walking their pig around campus
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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