Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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