oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
