Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
