i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
