Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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