all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
operation harelip BJ is a go
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
