That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
