My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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