just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
