life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Mom said you looked used
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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