What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
