Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
