its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
