it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize