Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
sex in a hospital.. check
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
