i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
