First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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