I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize