We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
