I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
