Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
