I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
