I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
